A Loud Romance
by Erich Zann III
Summary: Luan is distraught because of a bad breakup with Maggie... Only difficulty? Maggie is having second thoughts. Lucy has an unrequited crush on Lincoln (No actual Loudcest). Includes LunaxSam, RonniexLincoln, RockyxLucy, LuanxMaggie, BobbyxLori. Enjoy. Rated M for possible later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

*Two Months Ago*

" _Hey, Maggie… Did you hear the one about the dork and her beautiful girlfriend?" Luan asked, Maggie scowled. Another joke. Maggie wondered whether she was the dork or the beautiful girlfriend in this one._

" _No… What about the dork and her beautiful girlfriend?"_

" _Well… The dork is kind of wondering why her beautiful girlfriend is so quiet today… Is… Something wrong?" Luan asked, Luan wasn't smiling like she usually did. She looked worried._

 _This wasn't a joke. Maggie sighed. It was time. The moment she had been dreading from the minute she got up that morning._

" _Luan… Í… I need to be honest with you… I'm breaking up with you…" She muttered. Luan felt all the air leave her lungs and ice cold water douse her._

" _W-what? Why?"_

" _I-I just can't see you anymore! Goodbye!" Maggie said louder than she had meant to, leaving Luan sitting under the tree with their picnic, stunned into silence. For hours, Luan just sat there, her picnic going completely to waste, ants crawling all over it. Finally, her cell phone rang._

" _H-hello?" She asked, her voice felt hollow, void of any emotion._

" _Luan, sweetie! Are you alright? You weren't answering your phone, we were about to call the police!" Lynn Sr. said, sounding terrified._

" _Yes… I'm still at the park… Alone." She said, feeling her heart break just from saying that._

" _Alone? Do you want us to come get you? We can be there in a few minutes." Her father replied_

" _No, that's alright. I'll be right home… Sorry I'm so late." Luan muttered, picking up her basket and walking home slowly. It felt like it took forever to get home, her thoughts so heavy she could barely stand them. The school year came and went, and summer was around again._

*Saturday*

DING DONG!

Lincoln hurried to get the door. Clyde was supposed to come over that day so they could play Ace Savvy. He was 14 now, but he still never got tired of playing his favorite super hero. When he opened the door, though he scowled.

"Maggie? What are you doing here?" He asked bitterly.

"Is… Is Luan home?" Maggie muttered nervously.

"Why would you think she wants to talk to you?" Lincoln demanded irritably. The nerve of this girl, coming over to their house to rip Luan's wounds even deeper.

"Come on, Lincoln… You've broken up with girls in the past… What about Ronnie Anne?"

"At least I gave her a reason… You just left her. 'I can't see you anymore' isn't a good reason. Sometimes things don't work out. That's not an excuse to rip their heart out when you break up. Now go away!" Lincoln said, closing the door on Maggie. He had actually ended up back together with Ronnie Anne, and they were still dating.

"Hey, dude! Who was that?"

"Nobody… Just someone trying to scam us." Lincoln said, his anger boiling now. The doorbell rang again.

"WHAT! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU…" Lincoln began, his eyes widening.

"Clyde?" He asked.

"Did I do something to make you angry, buddy?" Clyde asked.

"No… No… It's… Well, it's nothing. Come in…" Lincoln said.

*Sunday*

"Hi… I'm…" Maggie began.

"I know who you are, dude…" Luna said, her voice dripping with contempt. "You're not wanted here." The Loud with the pixie haircut said. She had been getting ready for a date with Sam.

"I need to see Luan!"

"She doesn't wanna see you, dude! It was totally bogus how you treated her!" Luna exploded.

"My parents were pressuring me to break up with her! You're dating a girl! Didn't you have trouble with your parents on that?" Maggie asked desperately.

"No… And I totally wouldn't care if I did! I'm not my parents and I can't live my life to make them happy.

"Mick Swagger once said 'you have to do your own thing, love. Love is love, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is totally bogus!" The brown haired Loud said.

"Now… Don't bother Luan anymore! She doesn't need you here shootin' her through the heart again! It's too late! You give love a bad name, dude!" Luna said, closing the door on Maggie.

*Monday*

"Like, you're back again! This is the third day in a row you're here! Didn't Luna and Lincoln tell you you're not welcome here?" Lori demanded.

"I just want to tell Luan how sorry I am that I hurt her! I got some really bad advice from my parents." Maggie pleaded. Lori's eyes became less sharp.

"Well… I can totally understand that. You swear you didn't mean to hurt her?"

"Yes!" Maggie gasped, hoping that she was finally getting through to one of the siblings.

"You have ten seconds to convince me why I should let you see Luan. Go…" Lori said, counting down on her fingers.

"I really love Luan, and she may be a little bit dorky, but I wanted to be with her forever. My parents are against it, though and they've been pressuring me for a long time. Recently they said that they were going to send me to rehab to straighten me out if you get what I mean. I didn't want that to happen, so I ended up making the biggest mistake of my life! Now I'm living with my aunt and uncle and they're super cool about what they call my lifestyle, and…"

"Time's up. Get out." Lori said, slamming the door on Maggie. She had never intended to let her through. She just sort of enjoyed tormenting her with enticements of the chance to have her say. Lori would never let Maggie hurt Luan again.

*Tuesday*

"You're here again?" Lola asked, her face wrinkling in disgust.

"Is your older sister, Luan home?" Maggie asked. She had heard both good and bad things about Lola. She could be a right little savage when she got mad, but she was as loyal as any of the siblings to each other.

"I wouldn't tell you if I knew. I'm sure my reputation precedes me. Do you know how I got to be the queen of the beauty pageant circuit?"

"I haven't heard that story yet." Maggie said.

"All the other girls are too scared now to compete with me!" Lola said with a vicious grin. Maggie gasped, her eyes going wide.

"Now get out! I don't ever want to see you here again!" Lola shrieked. "Sic 'er, boy!" Lola screamed and a dog came barreling out, barking madly as he charged at her. Maggie screamed and ran away.

"Good boy, Charles! Good boy! You took care of that intruder so good!"

*Wednesday*

"Hello?" Came a friendly voice from behind the door. It was Leni.

"Open the door, Leni…" Maggie said. Leni opened the door and gasped when she saw who it was.

"Luan doesn't want to see you! Why do you keep coming?"

"Well… It's better than being sexually frustrated… Ahahaha! Get it?" Maggie asked, shaking her head at her own joke. She was turning into another Luan.

"No." Leni said, thinking about the joke. Maggie shook her head. It wasn't worth explaining

"Listen, I know Luan doesn't want to see me. But I need to see her. I need to beg for her forgiveness. I can't pretend that I'll be able to make up for what I did… But I can't just do nothing."

"Mmmmmmm… Lori totes told me not to let you in. She like, said you'll just hurt Luan again." Leni said. Clearly she had been coached on what to say if she answered the door, and she was repeating it, sounding slightly robotic.

"Listen… Leni… There's a chance that I could hurt her again… But there's always a chance someone could get hurt in a relationship.

"What if Chaz hurt you? Would you kick him out of your life forever?"

"Chaz hurt me? Oh no! Wahhhhhhhh!" Leni sobbed, falling to her knees.

"No! No! It was just rhetorical… It was an example!" Maggie said, dumbing her language down.

"Ohhhhh! You're good… You're clever like Linky and smart like Lisa…"

"Pfft… _Linky_?" Maggie giggled. After a moment, though, Lincoln and Lori were at the door.

"Good job keeping her out till now, Leni. Go. Home. Maggie! Do NOT come back!" Lincoln demanded, striding towards Maggie and chasing her down the steps and away from their house.

*Thursday*

"Oh… It's you…" Lucy said, letting go of Lily's hand. As soon as the youngest saw Maggie, she stopped and glowered at the black haired girl, looking quite hostile.

"I wrote a poem for you." Lucy said in her gravelly tone.

"Oh? I'm flattered."

"It will pass. Black haired, heartbreaker

"Won't take a hint.

"Black haired heartbreaker

"Just needs to sprint

"Black haired heartbreaker

"Doesn't know what to do

"Black haired heartbreaker…"

"POO POO!" Lily finished, sounding angry. She was four now, but she still pulled that occasionally. Her siblings had told her stories about that being her catch phrase when she was a baby and it just seemed to fit.

"Yes, Lily. Poo poo." Lucy said flatly. I'm afraid it's not my best work, I finished it in just a few minutes… But I think it gets the point across." Lucy said. Lily crossed her arms.

"Get out!" She snapped. Maggie sighed and walked away on her own.

*Friday*

"Whoa! You're still coming here? Go long!" Lynn said, faking being about to throw a ball.

"Two for taking the bait!" Lynn shouted, punching Maggie twice in the solar plexus in less than a second, dropping the girl to her knees, gasping for breath. Lynn watched without sympathy as Maggie struggled for breath and finally staggered back to her feet.

"Alright, get on with the pitch, cuz I won't play catch with ya for long. I got soccer in fifteen minutes. If I sprint, I can make it in ten." Lynn said. "C'mon, c'mon! I've punched Stincoln way harder than that and he recovered quicker than you!"

"I… Need to see… Luan…" Maggie gasped, still trying to breathe.

"Well if you're gonna give me an attitude, why should I let you in?" Lynn said, tensing her arm. Maggie flinched.  
"Two for flinching!" She said, punching Maggie in the stomach again, tears forming in her eyes.

"We're done here. I'm leaving. You can stay at the door 'slong as you need to, but the rest of our siblings ain't home right now." Lynn said, striding past Maggie and setting into a run, getting to full speed in seconds. Maggie gasped for breath again, not quite having caught her breath the first time, retching and heaving to the side of the steps, not wanting to make a noticeable mess. Lynn was a demon. How could anyone be that strong? Especially someone as small as Lynn.

Even though she was fifteen now, she wasn't much taller than she was at 13. She had filled out a bit, but she was still short and wiry. But she could punch super hard, having just dropped Maggie with two punches in half a second. Maggie made a note never to mess with Lynn again. If anything, she was even more of a savage than Lola.

*Saturday*

"Whoa… We have a real wreck here. Maybe a kiss from Hops'll fix ya up… Try it. Maybe he'll turn out to be a prince, sweetie!" Lana said, holding out her frog to Maggie.

"Oh, no thank you." Maggie said. "Actually, I'm here to…"

"I know why you're here. You've been coming here every day for a week now. What makes you think I'll let you in?"

"I brought dirt from my family's trip to the Ukraine. It has some of the most fertile soil in the world… I thought you might enjoy it."

"Oooohhh… That's tempting… All I have to do is let you in?" Lana asked. Maggie nodded, feeling like she finally got through to one of them, even if she had to bribe Lana.

"Well… I definitely want that dirt… But I can't let you in. So I'll have to turn it down. Thanks for the offer, though… Oh, and bribes won't work on my other siblings either. I like your spunk, but you're fighting a losing battle!" Lana said cheerfully, closing the door on Maggie.

*Sunday*

Maggie had written a script today. She would get her say in. As she rang the Loud House doorbell, she took a deep breath to steady her nerves. Would she have to run from a Pitbull today? Anything was worth it if she could see Luan even one more time. This was her last chance. She had faced every sibling, including the baby and failed. From Lori to Lily, she hadn't been able to see Luan. Today was her last chance.

"Hello… I know who you are… You have rung our doorbell every day this week and the previous weekend. My name is Lisa… I may only be in second grade, but I have many experiments to run, but I will give you five minutes of my time. Consider it a social experiment in the psychology of homewreckers… You have five minutes starting… Now." Lisa said, setting a stopwatch, waiting until the minute hand hit 12.

"Alright, Lisa… Listen, I made the biggest mistake of my life breaking up with Luan. She brought sunshine into my world… I'm not very good at laughing, but her jokes… They were lame…"

"Agreed." Lisa said flatly. She had never lost her lisp.

"But she told them so well and she was so sincere that I couldn't help but laugh. I loved her… I still love… Those are interesting glasses."

"Lie detector specs. I'm not giving you extra time just because you complimented me, though. I'm not skilled at determining dissemblers on my own. But these glasses will tell me all I need to know. Please, continue." Lisa said, still with the same deadpan look on her face.

"Right… I still love her… She… She's beautiful and funny and she made my life better when we were going out. I hope I made hers better as well. I don't know if I deserve another chance… I'm sure I don't after the way I hurt her… But maybe you could give me five minutes with Luan?"

Lisa stared blankly at Maggie for a moment.

"How queer… Sorry, strange." Lisa said, referring to her choice of words. "The glasses detect no falsehoods emanating from between your lips, but you broke her heart, you left her without so much as an explanation.

"Your history suggests that you would be prone to lying, but the glasses have either been hoodwinked or you are being honest… I will give you two minutes." Lisa said, standing back and letting Maggie in.

She led Maggie up to Luan's room and knocked on the door.

"H-hello? C-come in…" Luan muttered just loud enough to be heard.

"Luan? I-it's me…" Maggie said, seeing the state that Luan's side of the room was in… it was too neat. There were no gag objects anymore. Her marionettes were gone.

"Yo! Bogus, dudes!" Luna exclaimed, storming in and grabbing Maggie by the arm, holding hard enough that Maggie winced in pain, trying to drag her out.

"Luna! Wait! I looked at her with my lie detector glasses. She was not uttering any falsehoods." Lisa said, trying to remain calm.

"That's not the point, brah! I didn't kick Maggie out because she was lying to me! I kicked her out because she hurt Luan… When ya love someone, ya don't lie to them! Ya don't break their heart! Maggie doesn't deserve another chance!"

"I-I know I don't… But if Luan could give me just two minutes, I'd like to at least explain… Then I'll leave… I promise…" Maggie said. Luna and Lisa looked at Luan, who nodded. Both sighed and left the room.

"Luan… I've been coming here every day since Saturday to try to talk to you… I…"

"Why would you work so hard? I thought you hated me…"

"I don't hate you! My parents… They're kinda old fashioned and they tried to convince me to break up with you. They were about to send me to rehab… Do you know what I mean?"

"I think so… But keep going…" Luan said, seeming marginally happier.

"I… I loved you… I still love you, and now I'm living with my aunt and uncle… I told my parents they could suck it… I'm sorry I hurt you… I was afraid if I told you the real reason, it would leave things unfinished between us and you would be even more hurt… Please tell me you don't hate me!" Maggie pleaded. Luan looked at her, her eyes narrowed.

For an agonizingly long minute, she said nothing. Then she sighed.

"No. I don't hate you. I could never hate you… But I need to think about this. Give me a while… I'll call you… I-I promise… Whether the answer is yes or no, I'll call you." Luan said. Maggie nodded, sighing in relief and hurrying out, practically skipping.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

When she got back to her aunt and uncle's house, she was so happy that she was humming when she strode in the door.

"Mm… My little Magpie seems like she had a good morning. Did your apology go well?"

"It went great! I managed to convince the second youngest sister that I was on the level and she let me in, and I talked to Luan… Nothing's certain yet, but Luan said she'd think about it! Thank you for convincing me to go back after the first rejection, Auntie Jessica!" Maggie said excitedly.

"Oh, I knew you could do it. A broken heart is hard to heal, but sometimes persistence is all you need." Jessica said cheerfully.

"Now, you didn't eat breakfast yet, right? I have some eggs and sausages and toast for you!"

"Thanks, Auntie Jessica… And thank you for taking me in. You don't think I'm weird for liking girls, do you?" Maggie asked. Her aunt looked at her for a moment and shrugged.

"I don't know anything about your lifestyle. It wasn't done in my day. In my day, if you were attracted to the same gender, you hid it.

"And if you couldn't find a partner of the opposite sex, you just never married or joined the priesthood if you were a male. I don't know anything about your lifestyle, but I know that this Luan girl makes you happy. And if she makes you happy, who am I to judge? Ian and I aren't perfect, I hope that we can be supportive enough of you, but we'll never tell you how you should feel about someone." Jessica said. Maggie sighed. Her aunt was so understanding.

"Hey, Boo Boo Bear! Do you wanna go on a date today? I have tickets to a great movie at the theater." Lori said lovingly. Bobby sighed, seeming sad and tired.

"Sorry, babe… I can't… I have a double shift at Laserama today… There's a birthday party and they need someone to make sure nobody gets killed… Apparently a kid broke his leg last time and Laserama almost got sued." Bobby said, yawning widely.

"You've been working so hard lately… Is your family having problems?"

"Oh! Ahaha! No, no! I just need to save money. I'll definitely be there for our Saturday date, though! I know I had to cancel the last one, but I promise I'll be there this time!"

"Okay, Boo Boo Bear! Tonight then… We can finally see each other." Lori said. Lincoln still thought it was slightly sickening to hear Lori and Bobby talk.

As he was on the way, though he got pulled into an alleyway.

"I-I don't have any money! All I can give you is my watch! Just take it and leave me alone!" Lincoln said, taking off his watch and throwing it at his mystery assailant.

"What? I don't want your watch… Hey, Linc… You're getting' tall these days. What are you? Thirteen now?" Bobby asked, smiling cheerfully at Lincoln, but still looking really tired.

"Hey, Bobby… If you're not mugging me, why did you pull me into the alley? Couldn't you just… Ya know, approach me on the street?" Lincoln asked. Bobby laughed.

"Well, I suppose I could've called. Anyway, I'll apologize for lying to Lori later about the movie date. I've been stressing all day about our date tonight. I'm gonna propose to her tonight."

"Wow! That's great! She'll be so excited!" Lincoln said, hugging Bobby tightly.

"Yeah… Do you think she'll like this ring?" Bobby asked, showing it to Lincoln.

"Oh, so that's why you're working so much overtime! Ronnie Anne said you were never home anymore. Do you sleep at your jobs?" Lincoln asked.

"Sometimes. Some of my jobs have showers, and they all have bathrooms. So I can just get a few hours of sleep between shifts, take a shower there, brush my teeth and get some of their food.

"It's not perfect, but Lori's totally worth it."

"Awww… She's gonna love that ring! It looks like it cost a fortune!"

"For me it did… I've been working overtime for five months to afford it. Thanks, Lincoln… You helped me feel better… Now I need to go home, collapse, have horrible nightmares about the date going badly, get up and get ready for the date that I just had such terrible nightmares about."

"If you have nightmares, write them down so Lucy can turn them into poetry. She loves writing about nightmares. She's having some of her short stories published in a young writers' magazine."

"Wow! That's great! Good for her… She's been writing for a long time, right?"

"At least since she was 6. Her stories are a little bit scary, but she's a good writer, even if she's only 11."

"Wow! Only eleven! Boy I can't write that well and I'm 20. Well, I gotta go.

"See ya later, Linc!" Bobby said, running off, whooping loudly and seeming to practically dance with excitement. Lincoln sighed and kept going over to Clyde's house.

"Hey, Clyde! You there!" Lincoln asked. The door was opened by Howard.

"Hey, Mr. McBride… Is Clyde in?"

"Hey, Lincoln… Yeah, come on in. Take off your shoes, Harold just cleaned the floor… For the tenth time in two days." Howard said. Lincoln nodded, taking off his shoes and running up to Clyde's room.

"Hey, Clyde! Bobby is propose… Oops… Never mind…"

"Cool… Bobby's proposing soon? I wanted to introduce you to Saoirse… We've been lab partners a lot lately and I asked her out the other day and she said yes."

"Clyde nearly fainted before I could even answer." Saoirse said.

"So, when is Bobby proposing?"

"Um… Tonight… When did this happen?" He asked, pointing between the two of them.  
"Oh, about a week ago… I meant to tell you, but I kept getting distracted. My feelings for Lori weren't going anywhere… So my therapist tried hypnosis. I guess it worked… Thirtieth time's the charm, right?"

Lincoln nodded. It was odd seeing Clyde not freaking out about everything Lori related, but it was kind of nice. Maybe he could come over now and not faint from seeing Lori. Lincoln checked his watch. Ronnie Anne was coming over later. She and he often went on dates together, but this was the first time she was coming over to his house for the date. He had said most of his sisters would be out.

Lori was living on her own. She had a job as the store manager at an electronics store. She made a pretty good paycheck and she and Bobby had moved in together. She was relieved to be out of her parents' house where she didn't have any personal space, and Bobby was likewise happy to be out of the house that held not only him, his parents, Ronnie Anne and their grandmother, but their cousins as well.

Bobby was still working three jobs, though it was likely that he would become the boss of security at the mall, which would be a significant pay increase. The previous boss was getting old and was about to retire and had taken Bobby under his wing as a protégé of sorts. Bobby was hardly the most intelligent man the previous boss had ever met. But he was dedicated and was picking up what he needed to learn at a reasonable pace.

"Is everything alright, Lincoln?" Saoirse asked, looking concerned.

"Oh, yeah! Ronnie Anne is coming over to my place later and I need to get everything ready. Make sure nothing embarrassing is lying out and my room is clean. I may be the only person in my room, but it kinda gets messy."

"Oh… You and Ronnie Anne are dating? She told me about her boyfriend's white hair and I assumed he was older than her. I was actually worried that she was putting herself in danger. I'm glad to see it's someone trustworthy like you."

"Oh, thank you. How do you know Ronnie Anne?"

"She and I went to preschool together. We stayed friends. How do you know Ronnie Anne?" Saoirse asked. Lincoln sighed.

"Well… It just so happens that she's Bobby's sister. Bobby is dating my sister, but I didn't know they were related until a few years ago." Lincoln said. Saoirse nodded.

"Have you ever had trouble with her being too… Rough with you?"

"She can't possibly roughhouse worse than Lynn. Lynn is training for the Olympics right now."

"Really? Wow! What sport?"

"She does lots of sports. She's going for soccer right now, but running and different martial arts are also specialties for her." Lincoln said.

"She's training for the next Olympics?"

"She's hoping to. She's good. She can run a mile in a minute forty. She ran by one of those speed measuring things on the road. She was running at 36 miles an hour."

"Did that really happen, Lincoln?" Saoirse asked skeptically. "Clyde?"

"Well… If anyone could do it, Lynn could. I gave her a sweater I knitted for her birthday once and she invited me to go on her morning run with her. I ended up outside in the dark at 4 in the morning on a 40o day, trying to keep up with a girl who could outrun bicycles going at full speed."

"Wait, the bicycles were going at full speed or she was?"

"Yes! Both of them were going at full speed! She challenged a guy who was riding his bike that morning to a fifteen mile race and finished almost ten minutes before him! I had never seen anything like it! She's like 16 years old! Where did she get that kind of talent?" Clyde asked. Lincoln laughed privately. She had done the same thing the morning he went running with her. She said that they were only running 20 miles since he was with her.

But then she came across a biker that she said looked at her funny and challenged him to a race. It was funny to watch how confused the biker was, especially when she was sitting there at the end of fifteen miles, having finished her Gatorade and bought a bagel and was almost finished with it. She had used her phone to record her entire route so nobody could accuse her of cheating. By the time the biker got there, Lynn was finishing her bagel.

Lincoln could only laugh at that memory. He, after all had caught a ride on the back of a truck and gotten to the finish line early. Lynn wasn't terribly impressed with his ethic, but she was happy when she got there and found that he was there to witness her coming in first. It was highly likely that Lynn would get a place in the Olympics on Track or a similar running sport. What she really wanted to do was the triathlon.

For a few hours, the three of them sat around, reading comic books and trading them when they were done so that by the end, they had gone through most of a box of books each. Lincoln had to hurry home, though so he threw his shoes on at the door and started running as fast as he reasonably could.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Hn… I got a message… And play…" Lincoln said.

"Hey, Lincoln… I'm sorry I'm sending you this message so late. My grandma came over unexpectedly and I can't get out. I'm gonna hafta cancel our date for tonight. Call me tomorrow and I'll be sure to see you soon! Later!" Lincoln sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"AAGH! Damnit, Lucy! Don't sneak up on people like that!" Lincoln protested.

"Sigh." Lucy muttered. "I have a question for you. I have a graduation dance coming up at my elementary school and I wondered if you would go with me."

"What? What about Rocky?"

"He broke up with me a month ago. He's pining after some green eyed redheaded belle… I can't compete." Lucy muttered, seeming depressed.

"Well sure I can go to the dance with you. When is it?" Lincoln asked.

"This Saturday." She replied.

"Whoo… That's kinda short notice… I guess I didn't really have anything planned for that night though.

"Sure… Sounds like fun." Lincoln said. He would get to see his old school again and probably be the tallest kid there. That was a new feeling. Even his own girlfriend was taller than him by half an inch. But she never let him forget that half-inch. He wasn't exactly short. She was just getting pretty tall. Lucy actually smiled, hugging Lincoln tightly.

"Thank you. Wear your darkest suit."

"Right… My darkest suit…" Lincoln said. He had grey pants and a grey dress shirt, but he only had a black tie and a red tie and a grey jacket. Leni had said that grey looked better than black with his color scheme. He had blue-grey eyes that she said looked good with a grey suit. She would have preferred that he get a blue tie, but he bought a black one and a red one. He hoped it still fit. He immediately went up to his room and tried on the suit, relieved that it still fit.

Suddenly, his phone rang. He gasped. It was Ronnie Anne.

"Hey, Ronnie! How's it going?"

"We're still on for this Saturday, right?" Ronnie asked. Lincoln immediately ran to his calendar.

"Our anniversary!" Lincoln shouted, a little too loudly. Even from across the room, Ronnie heard him.

"You didn't forget, did you?" She asked.

"O-of course not… Listen… Can we switch our date to Friday? I wasn't thinking and I promised Lucy I would go to her school dance with her. She is graduating from elementary school." Ronnie was quiet for a few seconds… Then ten seconds… Then thirty. Lincoln was starting to worry she was angry.

"That's not a graduation! She's moving from the sixth grade to the seventh grade!"

"She's moving to a new school and she's scared that she won't fit in in middle school and her boyfriend broke up with her recently. I think she's more upset about it than she's letting on. Please, Ronnie? Come on. What would you do if it was your cousin who asked you to do that for him?" Ronnie sighed.

"I guess I would do the same thing. Alright, Lincoln. For you… But you'd _better_ be at the restaurant this Friday… On time! And not in your usual tacky orange shirt!" Ronnie snapped. Lincoln nodded. He thought she liked his orange shirt. He had some nicer polo shirts that he could wear instead, though.

Friday. That only gave him a day to prepare. Friday was tomorrow. But it would be worth it. He could meet both his obligations that weekend. He had gone to his own dance with Ronnie Anne… Just as friends, of course, and Ronnie got adorably angry when anyone suggested that she was his girlfriend. She had looked beautiful in a blue cotton dress. Unfortunately, it rained that night and the dress shrank after that so she couldn't wear it again. She was a little angry since she liked that dress.

Her grandmother had bought it for her specifically for the dance saying that the boys would go crazy for her… Well, at least one boy did that night. That was the night he asked her out. She actually said yes… After they got back to her house so that nobody would see or hear the conversation. Bobby had given Lincoln the business after that about how he better treat her right or he would be after Lincoln. He couldn't believe he almost forgot their anniversary again. He wrote it down specifically so he wouldn't.

He pulled out a blue polo shirt and khaki pants to wear the next day, looking at the clock. It was odd. He felt there was something Lucy wasn't telling him. Maybe he could talk to her. He got up and went to her room, knocking on the door.

"Hey, Stincoln! What's up!" Lynn said in her usual loud tone. She really had no indoor voice.

"Can you give me a minute to talk to Lucy?"

"Yeah, sure. I need to go for my evening run anyway." Lynn said.

"What's your speed these days?"

"38 mph! It's not fast enough though! I need to get it up to 40 by this Christmas!" Lynn said intensely.

"Why? You already leave most of the cars driving down our street in the dust. The speed limit here is 30. You beat the pants off of cars. How much faster do you need to be?"

"There's no such thing as fast enough! No such thing as strong enough, or flexible enough! Once you start saying 'good enough' you stop getting better! No compromises! No limits! No stopping!" Lynn shouted, leaping from the window and rolling to mitigate her fall and setting into a sprint immediately.

That was actually one of the more intense conversations he had had, even with Lynn. She was well known for having no setting lower than 7 and she was usually on 9 or 10, even in her sleep, she had extreme dreams. Apparently, doing extreme sports in the waking world wasn't enough for Lynn Loud Jr. Lincoln walked into Lucy's room, sitting down.

"I feel like you're hiding something from me, Luce. What's wrong?"

"N-nothing… You don't need to worry about it." She said. Lincoln sighed, putting a hand on Lucy's shoulder. "But I do worry about it. I'm your brother. It's my job to be concerned about you when something seems wrong." He replied.

"Well… My motives for asking you to the dance aren't entirely pure. I often talked to Rocky about how great you were and I kind of want to make him jealous."

"You want to make Rocky jealous, so you ask your brother to take you to the dance?" Lincoln asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. Surely the thought that even a blood relation is better than him will send him seething into the fiery pits of envy and jealousy." Lucy said. Lincoln wasn't sure he liked where the conversation was going.

"Plus… You are great. You're the best brother a girl could ask for. You're smart, you're sensitive and you can enjoy Vampires of Melancholia and The Dream Boat with us.

"You're the perfect man, Lincoln." Lucy said, hugging Lincoln, her lips pressing on his in a loving kiss. She closed her eyes, sighing happily as she felt the warmth of his body pressed against hers, or rather hers against his.

Lincoln's eyes widened. How hadn't he noticed this? He would've tried to find a way to cut this off sooner if he had. He gently pushed her off of him.

"Lucy… I love you, too… But you're my sister. I don't love you like that. It would be wrong."

"Edgar Allan Poe married his cousin."

"Edgar Allan Poe also died in the 1840s." Lincoln said, tempted to laugh at what he was sure should have been a joke. Lucy nodded, tears stinging her eyes. Lincoln gasped as he saw her shoulders trembling with her tears.

"Lucy… I'm not saying I don't love you… I just… Don't love you like that. Do you still want me to go with you to the dance?" Lincoln asked, sure that was going to bite him in the butt at some point. He had made a promise though, and he wouldn't back out of it. Lucy gasped, blushing.

"More than anything. Will you dance with me, there?"

"Of course. What is a dance for?" Lincoln asked, brushing off her awkwardness. She smiled weakly at him. Her hair blew out of her face for a moment.

"You're not mad at me?"

"Mad at you? For what?"

"For kissing you, of course. For falling in love with you."

"Lucy, I'm not mad at you. I don't think any less of you at all. You're still an amazing and talented person. I have to go. But I promise I'll be there with you for your dance." Lincoln said, sharing a hug with Lucy, who felt extremely relieved that Lincoln was being so understanding. She had been terrified that he would reject her after that, that he would be disgusted with her and would say he never wanted to look at her again. Perhaps a bit overdramatic, but she had an intense imagination.

Lincoln headed over to Leni's room. She was visiting for a while over the summer.

"Hey, Leni?" Lincoln asked, walking in to see her making out with Chaz. He slammed the door just as Leni shoved Chaz away from her.

"Sorry!" He said, hurrying away from her room. He should have known to knock first.

Leni came rushing out after him.

"Linky! Wait! I should have put a tie on my door or something… What is it? Are you alright?"

"You're good at getting gifts for people… What should I get for Ronnie Anne? Our anniversary is on Saturday." Leni squealed happily.

"Like, OM Gosh! That's totes awesome!" She exclaimed. Lincoln nodded.

"Well… How much money do you have?" She asked.

"About fifty dollars in my piggy bank."

"When is your date?" Leni asked.

"Tomorrow. I'm going with Lucy to her dance on Saturday so I had to reschedule Ronnie's and my date."

"Ohh… Lucy finally asked you? That's super! 'Scuse me… Chazzy baby!" She said.

"I'm super sorry! I need to help Linky with something! I totes promise we'll meet again soon!" She said. Chaz agreed and headed out.

"Hey, Linc… Cool to see ya again…" Chaz said, putting his shoes on and heading out. Leni went down with Lincoln, getting in the car with him.

"So… What kinds of things does Ronnie Anne like?" Leni asked.

"Well… She's into karate, soccer, something called boffing, skateboarding and roller skating."

"Alright… Does she like jewelry?"

"Not really. She doesn't even wear earrings… Oh! She mostly teaches herself martial arts… Her family doesn't have a lot of money… It's as big as ours is. So she buys martial arts self-help books with her allowance and her part-time jobs."

"What kind of music does she like?" Leni asked.

"SMOOCH, she and I listen to a lot of the same music."

"OM Gosh! SMOOCH just put out a new album recently… Luna told me… You should totes get it for her!" Leni said. Lincoln laughed. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of that.

"Sure… That's perfect." Lincoln replied, jumping out of the car at the music store and buying the last SMOOCH CD, taking it to the counter. Ronnie had complained that she hadn't been able to afford the new album. This would be the perfect gift. He paid for it and headed back home, wrapping it as well as he could. He had never been good at wrapping presents. He usually just used tin foil, and this time was no exception. Ronnie said she liked how industrial tin foil wrapping was.

"Plus, then I get to use the wrapping paper as a ball to throw at someone!" She would always say.

"Hey, Boo Boo Bear! So… How's your job going?"

"Huh? Oh… Pretty well…" Bobby replied. Lori scowled. Bobby had been really distracted the entire meal, and he was barely responding to her when she spoke. He wouldn't look her in the eye. They were at a really nice restaurant. He had reserved seats there, no doubt knowing how expensive it was, but now… He wasn't paying attention. He had barely taken three bites of his meal.

"What's wrong, Bobby? You've been really distracted! You won't even look at me… Are you breaking up with me?"

"Huh? What?"

"Forget it!" Lori snapped angrily, standing up and starting to leave. Suddenly, Bobby snapped into action.

"Sorry, Babe! I was distracted… I've been trying to figure out what I should say… I'm not breaking up with you… Th-the opposite… I… Lori… Will you marry me?" Bobby asked, kneeling down and showing her the ring. Lori's eyes were as wide as saucers. Her breath caught in her throat. Was she dreaming?

"Bobby… I… Yes!" Lori said, grabbing Bobby and hugging him tightly.  
"I love you, Babe." Bobby said, his forehead resting on hers.

"I love you too, Boo Boo Bear." Lori replied, kissing Bobby tenderly. Finally, the two sat down and finished their dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"Hey, Ronnie… Sorry, I know I'm a few minutes late."

"No prob, Linc. You're only about five minutes late." Ronnie said, seeming suspiciously understanding. "Let's head in." She said, kissing Lincoln on the lips.

"I got you this for our anniversary." Lincoln said nervously, handing Ronnie the poorly wrapped gift.

"Aha… I see you wrapped it yourself." She said, noting how slapdash it looked.

"Mm… Yeah…" He muttered as she opened it.

"Holy… The new SMOOCH album! This is great, Lincoln!" Ronnie said excitedly. Ronnie handed Lincoln a box in exchange. Unlike Lincoln's, it was perfectly wrapped.

"Aw… Thanks Ronnie…" Lincoln said, opening the present and gasping at what it was.

"H-how did you find this! This is super hard to get!" Lincoln shouted, looking at the limited edition Christmas Ace Savvy comic."

"Bobby worked in a comic book store for a while. I guess this old lady was selling her son's old comics and when it came through, Bobby set it aside."

"That's amazing! This is the greatest gift I've ever gotten!"

"Even better than last year's gift?" Ronnie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, well… I-I mean…"  
"Relax, Lame-o! I know this one is awesome. I got it for you!" Ronnie said, punching Lincoln in the arm and then pulling him inside.

They were seated pretty quickly, considering how crowded the restaurant was.

"So… Bobby proposed to Lori last night."

"Yeah… I know. He showed me the ring yesterday. He said it's why he was working so much overtime at his jobs."

"Yeah… Bobby's always been a really hard worker. But he went a bit overboard with this. It couldn't just be any ring. It had to be the perfect ring."

"Well… Lori loved it. She woke up the whole house yelling about it when she got home at like 7 this morning. She's really excited."

"How're your sisters doing? I haven't been able to get over to your house lately. How's Lucy doing? You said Rocky broke up with her."  
"Yeah… Apparently he's pining after some red haired, green eyed beauty… Lucy's words, not mine." Lincoln said. Ronnie scowled at this.

"Boys… They can never just be happy with what they have… Lucy is amazing… Creepy, but amazing."

"Lucy's not creepy. She's just… unusual."

"Does she still sleep with that vampire bust?"

"Mm… Edwin? Yeah… That's a little weird."

"Nah… You're probably right. You and she've always been really close. If I'm worried about anyone trying to steal you from me, it's her… Right, Lame-o? Ahahahaha!" Ronnie said, laughing at the idea. Lincoln blushed slightly, not quite able to look Ronnie in the eye.

"What?"

"Well… It's just…"

"What?"

"I… She and I…"

"Whaaaat?" Ronnie demanded.

"She kissed me last night."

"Lucy did?" Ronnie asked. Lincoln nodded.

"Oh! Wow! What a relief! I thought for a second you were gonna say you were cheating on me!"

"Ahaha! Of course not… She's just upset about Rocky… It will pass… She wants to make him jealous at the dance."

"So she's bringing _you_? Wow… I'd be soooo jealous…" Ronnie said with a laugh.

"Wow… Guess I know where I stand with you…" Lincoln said, blushing angrily, feeling embarrassed that Ronnie was making fun of him like this.

"No… No, that's not what I meant… I mean… You're her brother. That might've made dudes in the 1800s jealous… But who'd be jealous of Lucy dancing with her brother nowadays."

"Something about even a blood relation being better than him. I dunno. I think she really believes she has a crush on me. Like I said, I think it'll probably pass if I don't encourage it."

"How are Lynn's Olympic dreams going?"

"I dunno… She says she can run at like 38 miles an hour now. I dunno how she measures that. If she just sprints the entire course and measures the time or if she runs past an electronic speedometer.

"But however she does it, she's probably gonna be in the Olympics for something someday."

"Did you say 38 miles an hour? That's like, faster than humanly possible. I'm a pretty fast runner. I can outrun a bicycle at a sprint, but 38 miles… You sure Lynn doesn't have like, cheetah blood in her?"

"Nah… She's just really athletic. She's been playing sports and running since she was like four and she joined her Kindergarten friends for soccer and kicked all their butts in it…

"Well… That's what she says. I was only like 2, so I don't really remember. But mom and dad say that's about right." Lincoln said. Ronnie nodded.

"Well… Let's see… How's Luan doing? She was really broken up about that bitch, Maggie breaking her heart like she did. Didn't even give her a reason, just broke up with her."

"Well… I think they're probably gonna end up back together. Funny story… Not like funny haha… But like, when summer came, Maggie started showing up at our door every day trying to talk to Luan. She came 10 times over 10 days… Tried 10 different speeches with each of us and well… Finally Lisa let her in."

"Wait… _Lisa_ let her in? Isn't Lisa like the most cynical of all of you?"

"Well… He had her lie detector glasses on and she could tell that Maggie wasn't lying when she spoke. I think Lisa was naïve to not distinguish between Maggie telling the truth and actually having the right to talk to Luan. But Luan talked to her and forgave her. She hasn't gotten back together with Maggie just yet. But she's thinking about it.

"It's been like two weeks… So we'll see… In a way, I hope they do get back together. I've never seen Luan as happy as she was with Maggie. In another way… Reasons aside, Maggie really hurt Luan."

"What reason could she possibly have for breaking up with Luan so brutally!" Ronnie Anne demanded.

"She said her parents were pressuring her. They're really old fashioned and didn't approve. They were apparently going to send her to like gay rehab camp or something.

"Now I guess she's living with her aunt… I dunno… Even Lucy didn't let her in… She even wrote a poem dedicated to sending her away?"

"Really? That's impressive. Tell me the poem?"

"Black haired, heartbreaker

"Won't take a hint.

"Black haired heartbreaker

"Just needs to sprint

"Black haired heartbreaker

"Doesn't know what to do

"Black haired heartbreaker

"Poo poo… I think that last line was improvised. Lily burst in at the last moment."

"Isn't Lily like 4 now? She's not still… You know? Ronnie whispered.

"No… She was just told that was her catch phrase when she was a baby, and she still uses it sometimes. I think this was an angry 'poo poo'. Lily is really smart. She doesn't talk much, even now that she can talk, but she likes to work with Lisa sometimes."

"Lisa is using Lily as a test subject now, huh?" Ronnie asked.

"Well yes. But that's not what I meant. I mean she's Lisa's assistant in some experiments. She recognizes most of the chemicals and tools now and can operate them if she's told to or mix chemicals."

"Oh… Okay… So she's learning to be the next Lisa?"

"Not really. Lily's more of a painter. Lisa's helping her develop a new type of paint that will be even better than the paints she buys now."

"Buys? Lily is 4…"

"Lisa owns the patents on a few items. She sold the lie detector glasses to the FBI and a bunch of police departments and now she's making pretty good money.

"She pays Lily to act as her assistant. She doesn't make a lot of money, but she spends it on paints and canvases and other art supplies along with art lessons from a graduate school student who's making money in order to pay her way through her Master's Degree in art school."

"Oh… That makes sense. Lisa has been really distracted lately, though. There've been like twice as many explosions in the house as there used to be."

"How much ya wanna bet she's got a crush on someone?"

"What? She's only seven years old!"

"So? Lucy was dating Rocky when she was eight. Didn't Lola have a crush on one of her classmates when she was six?"

"Well… Yeah, but I don't think Lisa has ever considered anyone as anything more than a lab partner, a test subject or a family member. Somehow I can't imagine Lisa ever pulling herself away from her experiments long enough to even think about something like that."

"Oh, that's ridiculous, Lincoln. Ah, thank you." Ronnie said to the waitress, who smiled and left the tortilla chips and salsa on the table.

Ronnie took a few chips immediately, crunching on them happily, sticking some in generous amounts of salsa.

"Mm! Muy caliente!" Ronnie said, smiling at how spicy the salsa was. Lincoln just ate the chips.

"So… Have you two decided on your orders?" The waitress asked. Ronnie nodded.

"A cheese and habanero pepper quesadilla, please?"

"Absolutely. And you, sir?"

"Mm… How spicy are your tacos?"

"About medium. There are some spices in the meat."

"I guess I'll get the tacos then." Lincoln said.

"Okay… We'll be out soon with those." She said, hurrying back to the kitchen.

"So… How's your family doing, Ronnie? I haven't gotten to see them much lately." Lincoln said. Ronnie shrugged. "I guess they're doing fine. Our house is still way too crowded. I can't get a bit of privacy. It's kind of annoying." Ronnie said, scowling. "I go out for walks just to get some peace and quiet from my father's loud voice, my mother's nagging, my aunt's constant talk about old-fashioned safety charms and my cousins' inability to sit still for longer than three seconds…

"And of course Bobby's insufferable phone conversations with Lori… That is when she's not dropping by and their conversations aren't even more insufferable and sickening. At least I know _you'll_ never call me by pet names and talk about how much you love me and such."  
"But… I _do_ love you. Is it wrong to say that I do?"

"No… But you know how Lori and Bobby talk to each other! It's sickening!" Ronnie protested as the waitress put another basket of tortilla chips on the table. Ronnie immediately dug in.

"I guess so… I guess I'd rather talk about superheroes and comic books than about lovey dovey things like that." Lincoln said.

" _Exactly_! You're super nerdy, but at least nobody can accuse you of being mushy."

About five minutes later, their dinner came, and Ronnie, despite eating almost two baskets of chips ate the entire quesadilla. Lincoln had been more conservative on the chips and ate most of his tacos, leaving a few bites. Even medium spicy, the tacos were excellent. He had never eaten at this restaurant before. But they had really good food.

Finally, they asked for their check and Lincoln put down some money and they left. Lincoln walked Ronnie home, kissing her before he left, heading back to his house.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Elder brother… May I please have a brief word with you?" Lisa asked. Even three years later, she still retained a distinct lisp. She had gone to speech therapy for a while, but she hadn't practiced at home and eventually, their parents stopped taking her. They weren't made of money after all.

"Oh, sure… Come on in." Lincoln said, patting his bed. Lisa shuffled into his room and hopped up onto his bed next to him. She was still short for her age.

"I am experiencing the release of endorphins, phenylethylamine, norepinephrine and dopamines in response to proximity to one of my contemporaries."

"Um… What?" Lincoln asked.

"I am in love with a classmate of mine."

"Oh! Okay… Well, who do you have feelings for? What's his name?" Lincoln asked.

"He is named Ian Perry… He has been my lab partner multiple times. His skill in dissecting frogs is admirable." Lisa said. Lincoln raised an eyebrow.

"So… Why tell me? Just talk to him."

"I can't. But you've been extremely lucky with the ladies in your life. You managed to succeed where great romantics before you have failed and talk your way out of trouble with multiple women who caught you with others at the same event, you… Struck home as they say with Ronnie Anne, Girl Jordan… And so on and so forth. Who better to consult about matters of the heart?" Lisa asked.

"Wow… That particular dance wasn't really my fault… You know, different sisters got different dates for me that night, clearly without talking to each other. Girl Jordan was never my girlfriend."

"You're talking, but I hear nothing but dissembling and avoiding the subject."

"Alright… Well… What kind of science is he interested in?"

"Biology, primarily. He enjoys studying the frogs down by the pond and observing avian species, namely birds in their habitats."

"Well… Talk to him about those kinds of things. Invite him to go bird watching."

"What if I become tongue tied? What if I blurt out embarrassing things? What if my head overheats and I explode?"

"What if a bomb falls on our town tomorrow and wipes all of us out? You can't predict everything that will happen… Well, maybe you could… But most people are happier just living one day at a time. Ask him on a date and see how things go from there. There's not much more to it than that."

"How did you manage to become such an authority on girls?" Lisa asked. Lincoln laughed at this.

"I'm not… I know just enough to get by without embarrassing myself. Living with ten sisters will do that for a person." Lincoln said. Lisa nodded.

"I see… Thank you for your frankness, Lincoln… I must go complete my social experiment into the nuances of requesting a romantic encounter… AKA, asking someone out. Would you do me the favor of being there with me when I do?"

"Sure… Um… Won't it look kinda weird to be asking someone out with your brother standing there?"

"I will be doing it over the phone, so your presence or lack thereof will be completely unknown to him."

"Ah… So we'll just be in your room."

"That is correct." Lisa said, heading back to her room, which she still shared with Lily. She didn't really need to share a room. But she liked having her lab partner in the same room.

"Hello? James Perry. How may I help you?"

"Hello, Mr. Perry… My name is Lisa Loud. May I please speak to Ian?"

"Oh, of course… Just a moment?" Lisa responded in the affirmative and Mr. Perry set the phone down and called for Ian, who came running down the stairs.

"Hello? Ian here…" Ian said.

"Ian… It's Lisa…" Lisa muttered, turning a faint pink color. Lincoln smiled privately.

"Lisa… I was gonna call you… D'ya wanna join me to go bird watching? My father and I were gonna go out to the country to watch birds in the woods out there. I know that's not your usual thing, but maybe…"

"I'd l…ove to… go…" Lisa muttered, her lisp starting to get the better of her.

"Cool… Come over to my place this Saturday at 8." Ian said. Lisa was smiling rather numbly as she hung up the phone. She collapsed back on her bed, sighing happily.

"Good job, Lisa…" Lincoln said. Lisa said nothing, just staring at the ceiling.

"Are you alright, Lisa?"

"Yes… I am fine. Just nervous. Saturday is tomorrow. How can I prepare for a romantic encounter on such short notice? I am unable to decide what I should say, what I should bring… What should I wear? I don't have any dresses… I don't have enough time to create a tonic that will make my hair behave."

"Well… When I want my hair to behave, I put some gel in it. You should really talk to Lori or Leni about this. They know more about hair products than I do." Lincoln said. Lisa nodded.

"Of course they do. But Leni is on a date with Chaz and Lori is still completely unreachable… I tried for over an hour to talk to her. All she could talk about was her Boo Boo Bear buying her a ring. I fail to see the practical significance of a diamond ring whose value depreciates by over half almost immediately after you leave the store and whose use is strictly aesthetic when for the same amount you could easily buy a washer or something of practical value."

"Well… I think rings are supposed to be more symbolic than practical. Something about the eternal bond between the husband and wife. Personally, I think it depends on who you ask, though. Crap…" Lincoln muttered as the phone started ringing. He went out to the hall, picking it up on the second ring.

"Hello? Loud House, Lincoln speaking." Lincoln said.

"Hey, bro!" Came a raspy voice across the line.

"Oh, hey Luna… How'd your concert with Sam go?"

"It went amazing! We got such a huge crowd! Our tee shirts and CDs are really starting to take off! eTunes has even put like our original disc on it and we're selling like crazy!" Luna said. "Totally sweet!" She added. Lincoln smiled. She was really living her dream.

"That's great. I'm sorry I couldn't make it."

"Ah, that's alright, bro! Ya had yer date with Ronnie Anne tonight! I wouldn't wanna take ya away from that! Did Lucy ever get around to asking you to her dance?"

"Yeah… I'm going with her tomorrow evening. I'm looking forward to being the tallest kid there finally."

"Well… That ain't sayin' much, considering yer like fourteen now, dude! Remember yer own dance? You asked Ronnie Anne and you ended up goin' out with her after that… We all knew it would happen."  
"Ahaha… Yeah… I was the only one still in the dark. So, what's up Luna?"

"I wanted t'invite the whole family to my next gig! We're gettin' the whole group together. All four of us… Ruth and Anthony have been doing their own stuff lately.

"Now, we're gettin' together… Just for one concert, but it'll be awesome! We're gonna play the music we wrote together back in high school… It wasn't our best work, but it sure was fun, yo!" We're playin the amphitheater next Saturday. Just tell 'em who you are at the door and they'll take ya to your seats!"

"Sounds great! We've hardly gotten to see you at all this summer…"

"Sorry, dude… Been totally swamped… Rock n' Roll ain't just about the music anymore… We have to keep crazy detailed records of our earnings. It's totally bogus… Sam and I haven't even gotten a chance to go on any dates lately… What's that? Yeah, I'll be right up, Sammy!" Luna shouted, holding the phone away from her mouth for a moment.

"Well… Gotta go, little bro! See ya at the concert." Luna said. Lincoln nodded, writing down the location and time of the concert and hanging up with Luna. This was going to be fun, hearing the music that Luna was always singing back in the day. It seemed like quite a while ago, but objectively he knew that it wasn't that long. Three years somehow went by really quickly, and yet seemed like forever.

"Thank you, Elder Brother." Lisa said, actually hugging Lincoln. Lincoln hugged the much shorter girl back, and sent her off to bed. It was getting to be almost 11 o' clock, and if she was going to be her best for her date the next day, she needed to be well rested.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"Hello… My name is Darcy…" A small, dark skinned girl said sweetly to Lincoln as he answered the door. Lincoln smiled politely.

"Hello, Darcy… What can I do for you?" He asked.

"Is Lisa home? She said she would play with me today."

"Oh…" Lincoln said, his face falling. "Mm… Why don't you come in? My dad is baking cookies anyway. I'm sure he'd be happy to get your opinion on them." Lincoln said. Darcy smiled cheerfully, walking in and sitting down in the kitchen.  
"Hey… Lincoln… Who's your new friend?" Lynn asked.

"This is Darcy. She's Lisa's friend. There was a bit of a mix-up I guess. Lisa ended up double booking."

"Double booking? What does that mean?" Darcy asked. Lynn sighed.

"It means she planned two activities for the same time. She went out on a date with a boy less than an hour ago… I'm sure she didn't mean to forget… A boy she really likes asked her on a date last night and she probably just…" Lincoln started

"Forgot? For a boy? Yuck!" Darcy said, wrinkling her face. "Girls are so much more fun."

"We can call her. I'm not sure if she has her cell phone on her, but we can try."

"Would you? Thank you, Mr. Loud!"

"Sure, no problem." Lincoln said, dialing Lisa's number.

"Hey, Lisa… I'm really happy you could join us today." Ian said. Lisa had always been very taken with his smile. He wasn't exactly a scientific genius, but he had some skill with biology and environmental science. His father was a Biochemist and his mother was an Environmental Scientist. So both had a background to help him with that.

"Y-yesh… It'sh good to shee you as well…"

Lisa shook her head. Her lisp was getting the best of her. She had worked hard on getting rid of the lisp, though it still reared its ugly head on occasion. It had been cute when she was four. Now that she was seven, it wasn't so cute anymore… Not that she had ever been terribly cute.

At least she never thought so. She looked in the mirror. Messy hair that couldn't be combed out, a distinct overbite, thick glasses that she couldn't even take off since she would be blind and a deadpan look on her face that didn't invite confidence. She was hardly someone who could capitalize on their good looks.

"Hey, Ian… Is this Lisa? You never told me she was so pretty." His mother said with a cheerful smile, poking her eyes with what Lisa could only assume were contact lenses.

"Oh… You don't have to lie to me, Mrs. Perry. I'm aware of my appearance." Lisa muttered, feeling even more self-conscious now.

"I would never lie to you, Lisa… Ian told us you brought in your lie detector goggles to class one day for show and tell and called the teacher out on her 'little white lies'. She ended up taking them away and sending you to the principal."

"Yes… It's amazing how many people lie so blatantly. The world seems to be falling apart… I did a social experiment on my family with the goggles once.

"It was incredible to me how quickly the family devolved into anarchy simply because they couldn't lie to each other anymore." Lisa said.

"Hmm… Well… Honey! We gotta get going! Those birds aren't going to catalog themselves!" Ian's mother called. A tall, gangly man came running out the door, dropping several nets and glass jars. Lisa tried to catch one of the jars, but it shattered, spraying her with glass. Ian's mother gasped.

"Lisa… Are you alright?"

"Oh, yes… Just minor lacerations on my palms and cheek. I will be fine." Lisa said, taking a spray out of her pocket and spraying herself with it. Ian and his family gasped as the cuts sealed up, leaving almost no trace but tiny white spots where the cuts had been.

"How did you do that, Lisa?" Mrs. Perry asked.

"Simple, really. I created a compound that accelerates the body's natural healing process. It doesn't work on fractures or major injuries. But cuts, minor burns, bruises and other small injuries will heal in seconds once sprayed. I am currently working on creating a more powerful version that will enhance the body's natural healing process for more major injuries.

"Currently, this is only good for First Aid purposes. I never go on anything more rigorous than a walk without it. One never knows when it might come in handy." Lisa said, taking a small ball out of her fanny pack and putting some numbers in, dropping it on the ground and watching as it absorbed all the glass and metal from the jar.

"Wow… You're really handy to have around. Anything else you brought with you?"

"Some of my Gloweos. They're better in the dark, but they taste the same, regardless of the level of light." Lisa said flatly, handing each of the Perry's a Gloweo.

"Mm… These are good… What are they made of?" Ian asked.

"Well, they're similar to Oreos, but they're infused with the DNA of a bioluminescent jellyfish to affect the glow that they're known for. Just… Don't eat too many or your body will begin to glow in the dark. The effect will wear off after 12 hours at the longest." Lisa said.

"Excuse me… I seem to be receiving a telephone call… It's my family." Lisa said, getting in the car and answering the phone.

"Hello? Lisa speaking."

"Lisa… Your friend, Darcy is at our house saying you had a play date scheduled for today." Lincoln said. Lisa's eyes widened. How could she have forgotten? She had gotten so caught up in her date with Ian that she completely blanked on her schedule.

"Let me speak to her." Lisa said. Lincoln handed the phone to Darcy, who finished eating her cookie.

"Mm… Your daddy's cookies are _really_ good! Almost as good as your Gloweos!"

"That's not hard to imagine. I'm a scientist, not a chef. I'm very sorry I forgot our playdate. Please allow me the opportunity to reschedule." Lisa said in her usual no-nonsense tone.

"Aha… You forgot me for a boy? You're funny, Lisa… Do you have time to see me tomorrow?" Darcy asked. Lisa responded in the affirmative.

"Yes… Tomorrow is a perfect time. Shall we say 9 am? We can spend the day in the park. I have some new inventions to field test, and I could use an assistant." Lisa said. Darcy squealed happily.

"I always love your inventions, Lisa! I love you, Lisa!"

"Yes… I feel a notable affection for you as well, Darcy." Lisa replied.

"I must go, though. My phone is dying and I must conserve it to take photographs of the avian species Ian and I observe." Lisa said, saying goodbye and hanging up.

"I apologize… I ended up double booking myself with both you and a friend of mine from kindergarten."

"Is your phone really dying?" Ian asked, wondering why she wouldn't charge her phone overnight.

"Everyone's phone is dying the minute they remove it from the charger. But no. I was simply making an excuse. My phone's battery is efficient enough to last almost a week on a single charge. I've since replaced all my siblings' phones with a similar model to mine."

"Sounds like your friend really likes you."  
"It would naturally follow that a friend would like you. That much is a given." Lisa said, still deadpan.

"No, I mean she likes you the way my mom and dad like each other."

"No, no… That's impossible. There is no way I wouldn't have noticed such a thing." Lisa said. Ian shrugged.

"Mm… If you say so. Ooh! We're here! Rangers have been noticing new species' of birds in this area lately! I can't wait to see them!" Ian said, jumping out of the car.

"So… Darcy… How did you and Lisa meet?" Lynn asked.

"Oh, we met in kindergarten. Lisa was still having trouble relating to other students, and she made friends with me so that she could get her grade up in social skills. After she got a better grade, she dumped me. Later, we worked it out, though and we became real friends. She's my best friend now." Lincoln and Lynn looked at each other.

Neither of them knew that Lisa had ever manipulated someone like that. They were glad that Lisa had some friends that weren't also shut-ins, though.

"So… What did you two have planned for today?"

"It's my birthday. We were going to have ice cream to celebrate." Darcy said, taking another cookie.

"Boy, these cookies are great! What's in them?"

"Chocolate chips, some peanut butter, cinnamon, extra butter and I whip the batter twice as long to make them extra fluffy!" All our neighbors love them. You should taste my brownies!" Lynn said.

"Ooh! I love brownies! My mommy says I shouldn't eat too many sweets, but I just love chocolate and cookies so much!"

"Ooh, boy. I know that problem." Lincoln laughed.

"I know, right? They're soooo good!" Darcy said, tears filling her eyes as she ate another cookie.

"Hey, hey! Slow down on the cookies! We're not gonna have any left for the family." Lynn Sr. said with a laugh. He was flattered that she liked them so much, but he had made them for his kids. Darcy nodded.

"Sorry… I guess I'll get going." Darcy said, pulling her shoes on and heading out.

"Hey, Ian… Use these binoculars… They isolate even the smallest movement and identify by over 10,000 different indicators the species, gender and other particulars of any animal that they are looking at. They can be used anywhere in the world and will identify the creature by genus, phylum and family and if set to the proper settings can identify new species of creatures by similarities to existing species." Lisa said.

"I brought enough pairs for all of us."

"Wow… Lise, you really went out of your way for this day… You really found someone incredible, Ian." Mrs. Perry said with a smile, taking a pair of binoculars, and looking through them at a small creature that had come out of the pond. The binoculars made a small whirring sound and a bunch of statistics, including size, weight, coloration, species, phylum, family, gender and regions that it appeared in showed up on the screen.

"Wow… This is incredible, Lisa… How did you make these?"  
"I programmed every known legitimate taxonomic and botanical text into the computer inside the binoculars and programmed it to search based on images of the species in question and determine through closer examination of the specimen in question various more specific aspects of it, including gender, weight and distinguishing characteristics that set it apart from others of its species." Lisa said.

Mr. Perry nodded.

"I think my lab could use some of these binoculars." Mrs. Perry said. We run environmental science experiments and I'm sure they would be delighted to be able to identify new species so easily."

"I'm certain I could make some pairs for you and your coworkers." Lisa said. Mrs. Perry nodded. Ian was still looking through his binoculars, amazed at what he was able to learn.

They had only come to go birdwatching, but they were seeing and learning about so many other species as well. Sometimes the binoculars locked onto two or more animals at once and told him all about them. Their date went really well and by the time the day ended, he was excited for their next date.

"Hey, Lucy… You look really beautiful tonight." Lincoln said. "I love your new dress."

"Thank you." Lucy muttered, blushing deeply at Lincoln's compliment. "It's… Not new… I just don't wear it very often." She said, not able to look Lincoln in the eye.

"Listen, Lincoln… I'm sorry I came on too strong to you yesterday. I-I know you could never be in love with someone like me…" Lucy mumbled.

"What? That's not true… You're amazing… Any boy would be lucky to have you. I know your breakup with Rocky hurt, but you're only 11. Rocky isn't the last boy you'll ever like."

"I know… Someday, I'll be a vampire, and I'll get to spend the rest of my nights seeking out my soulmate… But I was so convinced that my soulmate was you Lincoln." Lucy said, looking into Lincoln's face finally.

"Lucy… I'm flattered, but aren't you a little young to be talking about soulmates and eternity?"

"Claudia was only five when she was turned by Louis…" Lucy said.

"Wait… Claudia? You mean the character played by Kirsten Dunst in Interview with the Vampire? You realize that was just a movie, right?"

"Yeah… But her relationship with her Louis was so beautiful."

"She was a five year old girl and he was a 30 year old man." Lincoln said with a raised eyebrow.

"I know… But I could sense the yearning in her long dead heart. Well… The dance won't wait for us. Let's go…" Lucy said, taking Lincoln's hand and walking toward her elementary school.

"Hey, Lucy… Your brother is your date tonight? What happened to Rocky?" Haiku asked.

"He was seduced by the light side. I wasn't surprised… But I can't pretend I wasn't upset." Lucy said. Haiku nodded.

"The light side… You mean that red haired, green eyed girl he's flopping with?"

"Yes… I don't blame him… She's gorgeous. I can't compete. She's got half the guys at school going for her. My only consolation is that she'll wither and fade away with age while I'll become a Vampire and live forever." Lucy said, smiling in a slightly vindictive way.

"So… Who are you here with, Haiku?" Lincoln asked.

"Oh… I was asked by my parents to take my brother to the dance. They still don't trust him fully after he set off firecrackers at the soccer game we went to."

"I see… Well… I guess I'll go get something to eat…" Lincoln said.

"Wait… Dance with me? There's a slow dance coming up."

"Ummmmm… I'm not very good at slow dancing." Lincoln said uncomfortably.

"Neither am I. Rocky… What are you doing here?" Lucy asked. Even covered by her hair, it was obvious she was scowling.

"I… I wanted to apologize… I never meant to hurt you Lucy… I…"

"Hey…" Lincoln said, walking back over to Lucy. "What are you doing even talking to Lucy? You hurt her… You broke her heart. You made her feel bad about herself… And now you want her back? What? I knew you and Lucy were very different, but she was happy with you… But now I see she's way too good for you… Get out of here and don't talk to her again." Lincoln said angrily.

Rocky nodded, shuffling away. Lincoln sighed and followed him.  
"I'll be right back, Luce…" The white haired boy said. He sat down next to a dejected looking Rocky.

"Look… Rocky, your brother Rusty is one of my best friends… So I'm sure you're not a bad person… What the hell happened? How was Lucy not enough for you? How could you end up doing something so hurtful to her?" Lincoln asked. Rocky sighed.

"I don't know… I… I made a mistake… Lucy is amazing… She's smart, she's deep… She's super into horror movies and vampires and stuff like that and she never pretends to be someone she's not. But… I looked at that new girl and… I guess I just lost… You know."

"People lose perspective sometimes. That's not an excuse. Relationships begin and end all the time.

"You could've at least had the decency to not go around with another girl behind Lucy's back…"

"I didn't, though! I never went out with Ellie… She's already dating a seventh grader in the next school up."

"I see… So what? Is Lucy just some consolation prize to you now?" Lincoln demanded. Rocky's eyes widened.

"N-no! I love Lucy… I told you… She's amazing… I know you have no reason to trust me, but if you could just let me talk to her?"

"I'm thirsty. I need to go get a drink. You have until I get back." Lincoln said. Rocky nodded and hurried over to Lucy.

"Lucy… If I could just have a moment of your time?" Rocky asked. Lucy looked at him, not really inviting confidence in him.  
"Speak…" Lucy said quietly.

"I… I made a terrible mistake in breaking up with you… I just… You're so amazing and I'm sorry I couldn't appreciate that."

"No… You couldn't appreciate me. I appreciate that you feel bad about hurting me. But I won't fall back into the same trap as before. I came with Lincoln… And I'm going to leave with Lincoln." Lucy said firmly, taking Rock's hands gently in hers and staring him in the eye. The young red haired boy sighed. He could admire her pride. It was always one of the things he liked best about her, and in a way, he knew she wouldn't take him back. He'd had his chance and wasted it.

He sighed and thanked her for her time, hugging her one last time.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Lucy." He whispered, walking away. Shortly, Lincoln came back and handed Lucy a cup of punch.

"Poison?" She asked, almost seeming hopeful.

"Sorry to disappoint. It's just fruit punch." Lincoln said. Lucy nodded, drinking it quickly and smiling at Lincoln. He looked over at Rocky, who was slouching out the door.

"You turned him down?" Lincoln asked. Lucy nodded.

"I came to the dance with you, Lincoln. I plan to leave with you." Lucy said resolutely. Lincoln smiled, flattered at Lucy's statement.

"You could've chosen him if you wanted. I wouldn't have been offended." Lincoln said, hugging Lucy tightly. Lucy sighed, seeming to have a moment's hesitation.

"No. I don't go back to men who hurt me. I'm sure Rocky won't be the last person I fall in love with. But I would like to have at least one dance with you tonight, Lincoln." Lucy whispered, taking Lincoln's hand and going out to the dance floor as a slow song began.

She sighed happily, leaning into Lincoln as he put one hand on her shoulder and the other on her waist. She was much shorter than him, but not so much so that they looked weird together. The two swayed on the floor, Lucy's head resting blissfully on Lincoln's shoulder, not really caring how it looked. There were definitely people there who knew that Lincoln was her brother. That didn't matter to her. What mattered was that he was there with her.

After a few minutes of dancing, Lincoln kissed her lovingly on the head, causing a faint pink tinge to cross her delicate, pale cheeks. He may not have been in love with her. But of all his sisters, she was definitely the one he felt closest to.

The evening wore on, and Lincoln and Lucy were approached by people who knew Lucy from class and wanted to meet Lincoln. Apparently, in the little that she said, she spoke very highly of "her silver haired angel" and they wanted to see if he stood up to all the hype.

"Hey… Luce… Is this the brother we've heard so much about?" Came a dull, slightly lifeless voice.

"Raven… This is Lincoln… I see you decided to consort with a member of the living for this dance." Lucy said, looking at a vibrant looking young man in a purple shirt with a yellow tie.

"My name is Jimmy Faza… But my friends call me Fozzie Bear… Wokka wokka!" He said with a laugh.

"Raven's brooding intensity is what drew my eye… So, you're Lincoln… Eh? Your sister dragged you to this dance?" He asked, shaking Lincoln's hand vigorously.

"No… I've enjoyed coming to the dance with her. She's sweet. She's intelligent, she's pretty. And she's a good person and an amazing sister. She asked me to accompany her and I was happy to."

"Wow… I wish I was that close with my sister… Sometimes… Sometimes I wish she'd drop off the face of the earth and forget to say goodbye."

"No chance of that with my family." Lincoln said. Three of them are out of the house now, but I've still got two older sisters and five younger sisters living at home." Lincoln said. Jimmy counted on his fingers, cursing slightly.

"Wow! Ten sisters… That's… Pretty intense. How is it you haven't turned gay from all those women in your house?" Faza asked. Lincoln scowled.

"Have you ever been punched for talking too much? Why don't you stick with someone who can stand your company… Go hang with Raven or whatever." Lincoln said.

"Actually, I was gonna lose his number after tonight. His optimism and loudmouthed nature are exhausting and insufferable." Raven said, covering her ears at how noisy Faza was being. Even Lucy found that to be slightly harsh. She didn't say anything, though.

"Well… I better get going. Lincoln has a date tomorrow and his girlfriend would be pretty angry if he was late." Lucy said. Raven pulled Lucy aside.

"Nice work getting your brother like that. You had better luck than I did." She whispered.

"I didn't get him. He agreed to take me to the dance because Rocky broke up with me. It was nice of Lincoln to take me. He even rearranged his date with his girlfriend to do this with me."

"Wow… You have a really great brother. My brother wouldn't give me the time of day. I hate the living." Raven protested. Lucy nodded, heading out with Lincoln. Lucy smiled shyly at Lincoln.

"Thank you for doing so much for me this evening. I know you would've rather spent your time with Ronnie Anne.


End file.
